so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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