My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
