HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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