I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
