apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
