By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
