No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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