Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
