Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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