bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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