we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
