Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
