wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
