new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
