Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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