I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
