Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
