i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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