nut hugger
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
