I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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