We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
