I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
