But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
