Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
