Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My bed smells like the plague
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
