he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
