I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
