I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
