it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
