I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
