Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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