ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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