Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
