Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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