my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
