Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
