its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize