Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
