i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
