Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
