I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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