My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is Oprah even human
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
