i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
