85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
