we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
