I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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