Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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