puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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