i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
