well you can't waste a boner
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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